There was a car accident in a busy Zambales street. As expected, a large crowd of pedestrians and bystanders gathered. A newspaper reporter, anxious to get his story, could not get near the car. And being a clever sort, he started shouting loudly, “Let me through! Let me through! I am the son of the victim.” The crowd made way for him. Lying in front of the car was a moribund monkey!
ooOoo
Tonio is known as man about town.
Surprisingly, he has kept his married union intact.
Asked of the secret, his response was that they — hubby and wifey — take time to go to a restaurant regularly or twice: a candlelight dinner with soft music, and then a slow walk home.
The missus goes Tuesdays; He goes Fridays.
ooOoo
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all bottles of Viagra.
The police put out an alert for the public to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
ooOoo
What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?
A genealogist looks up the family tree, a gynecologist looks up the family bush.
ooOoo
If you were born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their New Year with a bang.
ooOoo
Saint Peter was having a slow day at the Pearly Gates so he took a little stroll. He noticed that the fence between Heaven and Hell was in need of some repair. So he hollers over the fence to Lucifer.
Saint Peter: “This fence needs some repair. I’ll see to it that it gets fixed if you will help pay for it.”
Lucifer: “If you want it fixed, you pay for it.”
Saint Peter: “The fence is partly your responsibility and you will help pay for it or I will sue you for that amount.”
Lucifer: “Ha!! And where do you think you are going to get a lawyer?!”
ooOoo
Dad, can I ask for a favor?”
“Sure!”
“I’m already 14, Dad, and I think it’s just proper that I should own one.”
“And what is this?"
“Could you buy me a neat set of brassieres?”
“No.”
“My nipples are already prominent and it catches attention.”
“Nope.”
“It will be just proper at my age…”
“I said no way…!”
“But all of my friends wear…….!”
“David! How many times shall I tell you that bras are for girls!?”
#Halakhak #RayJunia #WhereDoYouThinkYouAreGoingToGetALawyer #OpinYonColumn #OpinYon #WeTakeAStand