Getting my feet wet in the beach with my grandson, Mikael, a big wave hit us, forcing us to step back. “That was a big one, pap,” Mikael would say, as even bigger waves rushed to the shore. “Lets have a game. Game of opposites. Go?” I challenged my apo. “Game,” he replied. “What’s opposite of high?” I asked. “Low,” he answered. “Short?” I asked again. “Long,” came the fast answer. “Big wave?” me again. “Microwave,” came the even faster answer. I stopped asking.
In an animal rights lecture: “It takes three sheep to make a sweater,” the expert said.
Jose, in the corner, “They can knit?”
At a cockfight in Batangas, how do you tell the Chinese in the crowd?
They are betting on the duck.
How do you tell if the Chinese mafia is involved?
The duck wins.
A couple sees their doctor. Maria: “It's about our sex life, doc.”
Doctor: What about it? Describe your technique.
Maria explains, “You see, every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday….. “
Doctor buts in, “Stop right there. That’s the problem. You plan. It should be spontaneous. You do it when the urge is there. When the spirit moves it, there is passion. Come back after two weeks and tell me if your problem persists.”
Two weeks later, the couple was back.
Maria exclaims, “You could not be more correct, doc. Now sex is fabulous. We had breakfast. I dropped a spoon, bent over to pick it up, and – lo and behold - Ben here was right at my behind and like an animal did it like crazy. Twice we did it, the next on top of the table.”
Doctor: “Wow, that’s great. Any problem?”
Ben: “There is, though, minor. We’re now banned from eating at Max's Restaurant.
A doctor gets a visit from a young lady. She takes off her blouse and the doctor sees a red H on her chest. “How did you get that mark?” doctor asks.
My boyfriend goes to Harvard and so proud of his school that he does not take off the shirt even when we make love.”
Days after, another lady walks in. she takes off her blouse and doctor notices a blue Y on her chest. “How did you get that mark?”, doc asks.
“Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale. He’s so proud of it, he never takes his sweatshirt off. Not even when we make love.”
The following day, a beautiful young lady walks in. she takes off her blouse and doc sees a green M on her chest. “You have a boyfriend going to Michigan?”, doc asks.
“No. but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin. Why do you ask?”
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