Headline: 2024 nat’l budget keeps unprogrammed funds. This must be the result of our solons not experts in programming.
###
2024, coming from the difficulties of the pandemic, requires us to be positive. Focus on the positive. Exceptions are photographers, they focus on the negatives.
###
I was at the National Bookstore last week getting books to fill my Christmas gift list. I misplaced my shoulder bag and was looking around when a boy came over to return my bag.
“There is something wrong. I had a P50.00 bill inside. Now there are 50 pieces of P1.00 coins,” I told the boy.
“That’s right,” the boy answered, adding, “The last time I returned a bag, the owner did not have any change for a reward.”
###
That same afternoon, I went to the grocery to buy organic vegetables ordered by my wife. Unsure if the vegies were indeed organic, I asked a grocery employee for help.
“These vegetables I’m buying are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with poisonous chemicals?”
“No,” replied the young man.” “You’ll have to do that yourself.”
###
For Christmas, a wife bought her husband a lie detector robot that slapped people whenever they told a lie. The husband decided to test the gift on his son.
“When you visit Edwin’s place, what do you usually do there?” the father asked.
“Nothing much,” the son replied. The robot slapped the son.
“Okay we watch DVD’s.”
“What movies?” the father asked again.
“Harry Potter.”
The robot slapped the son again.
“OK, we watch porn,” the son said.
The father raged, “When I was your age, I didn't even know what porn was.”
The robot slapped the father.
“Hahaha,” laughed the mother. “It's easy to see he’s your son.”
The robot slapped the wife.
###
What did the priest call a double orgasm?
The second coming.
###
A young lady bought her first car, a brand new Toyota Avanza.
She went to the Land Transportation Office for her license to drive.
Five hours after waiting, she was made to take the required written test.
“I must have taken the wrong exams. The questions were almost all for motorcycle drivers,” the lady tells an employee of the LTO.
“Oh no, there was no error. Riders don’t usually have money to pay fixers,” the LTO fixer replied.
###
A big business personality warned the country’s leaders to slow down on making it hard for China to take over some parts of the West Philippine Sea.
She warns of the economic effect of making China angry.
She forgot we buy ten times more from China than China buys from us.
The trade imbalance is so bad that Filipinos have made it a habit to buy from China. There will be panic in the market place when China products are taken out of the market. (30)
#Halakhak #RayJunia #TheSecondComing #China #OpinYonColumn #OpinYon #WeTakeAStand