The Lost Art Of Apologizing
Candid Conversations

The Lost Art Of Apologizing

Nov 15, 2024, 7:29 AM
Vivien Mangalindan

Vivien Mangalindan

Columnist

Ever notice how a true, heartfelt apology seems to be a rare thing these days?

THE BACK STORY

We all mess up sometimes. That’s part of life. But a solid apology? That’s the real game-changer.
A genuine apology can make things better.

  • A slip-up at work
  • Forgetting a meetup
  • Causing family drama

And no, it’s not just about saying “sorry” - but knowing how to apologize.

  • Repair relationships
  • Rebuild trust
  • Make people feel valued

OWN IT

The first step is to acknowledge what you did wrong. 

  • Avoid excuses
  • Just be honest

Admitting your mistake shows you recognize where you went wrong.

Situation: Sylvia forgot to submit her part of a team project on time.

  • Before: She missed the deadline and defensively said, “I was busy with other tasks!”
  • After: Sylvia said, “I’m sorry for missing the deadline - and not communicating. I’ll help wrap this up quickly.”

STEP UP

Take responsibility for your actions without shifting blame - or being defensive. 

  • Use open body language
  • Speak with a sincere tone
  • Make sure your gestures show you’re truly listening

Situation: Maurice arrived late to a family dinner without telling anyone.

  • Before: He arrived late and shrugged, saying, “Traffic was bad. You guys should’ve expected this.”
  • After: Maurice said, “I’m sorry for being late without calling" - and helped serve the meal.

FIX IT

Say what you’ll do to avoid making the same mistake again. 

  • This shows the other person that you care about their feelings - and want to improve.

Situation: Janice canceled plans with her friend at the last minute.

  • Before: She canceled an hour before, texting, “Something came up. I can’t make it.”
  • After: Janice later said, “I’m really sorry for canceling last minute. Can we reschedule? I’ll treat you to lunch next time.”

TIPS AND TECHNIQUES 

A heartfelt apology isn’t just about saying "sorry" and fixing a mistake.

  • It’s about showing others they matter.

When you own your mistakes:

  • Step up without excuses
  • Do what you can to fix things

It shows character. The next time you need to make amends:

  • Put in the effort
  • Strengthen bonds
  • Deepen connections

Keep building that trust.

Remember: Build more meaningful relationships - one sincere apology at a time.

vivienshowandtell@gmail.com

YouTube Channel www.youtube.com/@ShowAndTellWithMissV

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