Texting vs. Talking: Why We Freeze
Candid Conversations

Texting vs. Talking: Why We Freeze

Dec 20, 2024, 7:15 AM
Vivien Mangalindan

Vivien Mangalindan

Columnist

We’re all texting pros now - but when it comes to face-to-face conversation? Things get tricky. Texting is easy because we can think, revise and take our time. In real conversations - it’s like jumping off a cliff without a parachute. No chance to fix things if we mess up.

THE BACK STORY

Why is it so hard to switch gears from texting to talking? Simple: texting lets us control the conversation.

  • But when we’re talking - there’s no backspace or emoji to help us out. It's just raw, unedited dialogue.
  • Add the pressure of real-time interaction - and it's no wonder people freeze.

THE 'NO BACKSPACE' BLUES

Texting: With texting - you can delete and reword until it sounds perfect. No stress.

Scenario: Olivia’s having lunch with Jake. He asks, “What do you do for fun?”

  • Before: Olivia’s eyes go wide. She stammers, “Uh… I’m into stuff…?”
  • After: She smiles, thinks it through and says, “I love trying new recipes. Currently, I’m perfecting tacos.”

Lesson: Olivia’s freeze came from wanting to say the perfect thing.

  • Once she realized there was no pressure - she relaxed and shared something real.

STUCK IN 'OVERTHINKING' MODE

Texting: You’ve got time to think, overthink or rethink.

Scenario: Liam is at game night - trying to deliver a funny comment.

  • Before: He’s stuck in his head. “What if they don’t laugh?” He says nothing - and misses his chance.
  • After: Liam gives himself permission to just say it. He blurts out, “This reminds me of that dog-at-the-computer meme. ‘I have no idea what I’m doing.''” Everyone laughs.

Lesson: Overthinking stalls conversations.

  • Once Liam just went with it - he helped set the vibe and got everyone laughing.

EMOJI ENERGY IN REAL LIFE

Texting: Emojis add instant energy. They say, “Hey, I totally get it.”

Scenario: Sandy meets Max in person - after texting forever.

  • Before: Max cracks a funny one-liner - but Sandy doesn’t know what to do. No emojis to throw in.
  • After: She laughs and says, “You’re so much funnier in person.”

Lesson: Emojis bring out energy in text. But in person - laughter and shared moments set the pace.

  • Sandy's compliment made the conversation feel real.

SILENCES ARE JUST PAUSES

Texting: No awkward pauses - always instant replies.

Scenario: Carlos is giving an update to his boss.

  • Before: He stumbles nervously, “Uh...yeah, it's fine... just…”
  • After: Carlos pauses, thinks for a second and then says, “We’re on track. Just a slight delay - but it’s all good."

Lesson: The pressure to keep talking can cause awkwardness.

  • A brief pause allowed Carlos to think clearly - and speak confidently.

Silence is just a moment to breathe.

TIPS AND TECHNIQUES
Texting is all about comfort. But real-time conversations are where we show our true selves.

If you freeze:

  • Pause
  • Breathe
  • Jump back in

It's all part of getting better every time you try.

Remember: Texting vs. talking - it's all about taking the next step. Start talking.

vivienshowandtell@gmail.com

YouTube Channel www.youtube.com/@ShowAndTellWithMissV

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