Fine by Me by Amadeus Rex
Fine By Me

Spilled Milk, and Other Tearjerkers

Apr 25, 2021, 3:56 AM
Amadeus Rex

Amadeus Rex

Columnist

It's okay to cry about spilled milk sometimes. Stuff happens to us, good and bad. And it happens a lot. While some may believe that crying or even simply feeling bad makes us look pathetic or weak, especially over seemingly trivial misfortunes, how the things in our lives affect our emotions isn't always within our control.

Some of us cry too often. Some of us don't even cry at all. There is no right or wrong in the intensities that we feel our emotions, as they are our own minds' natural responses to emotional stimuli.

Simply put, we don't choose what hurts or upsets us, nor do we choose how hard things hit us. We cannot simply force ourselves not to feel bad when something that makes us feel bad just happens. What matters most in such situations is how we subsequently choose to handle them (and ourselves).

Getting a Hold

A common reprimand issued to those who get emotional over things deemed unworthy of such emotions is to simply get a hold of themselves, or to grow thicker skin. Some people bleed more easily than others, and some people are more fragile than others; none are at fault.

In the same way that we don't have complete control over our bodies' responses to injury, we don't always have control over our minds' responses to sadness, pain, and other frustrations.

Sure you can eat healthier, and sure you can think happier thoughts. But the perfect diet won't stop a random rock from hitting you out of nowhere if it just does. In the same way, a peaceful mind is not impervious to the unpredictable onslaught of life's occurrences.

Damage Control

If one pulls a muscle or gets wounded in an accident, it is natural for them to cry out in pain or grit their teeth. In the same way, tears, frustration, and other manifestations of our emotions simply happen when we are affected by something. These are mostly involuntary responses stemming from the intensity of the pain or discomfort we might feel.

However, what is voluntary is what we then do about our injuries. Rest the strained muscle, clean and care for the wound. Similarly, we can choose to wipe our tears and keep moving, or we can lie down and let the emotions run their course, hoping they eventually do.

One solution may be better than others in some cases, but not so much in other cases. What matters is acknowledging what you feel and how it had affected you, then taking the time to collect yourself to act accordingly and as sensibly as possible.

In Front Of Others

It is also important to make sure that in spite of whatever it is we feel, we do not allow it to cause us to harm others as well. Unless someone is sticking their fingers in your wound, avoid telling them off. Let them know that you are in pain so they may know to take caution.

If they tell you you're overreacting, just remember that your pain is truly yours alone. They might say they've been there, but every injury tells a story unique to itself. This alone makes your pain valid, so there is no need to justify it. Focus only on what helps you heal, and try to ignore what doesn't.


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