Community Whispers by Ray Junia
Community Whispers

Solons to BI people: Stop asking questions

Apr 11, 2023, 12:18 AM
Ray L. Junia

Ray L. Junia

Publisher

Ruben and Ahmen lined up for the communion. Ruben was anxious, asking Ahmen what to do. Ahmen tells him to be right behind and see and do what he does.

Priest to Ahmen:

“Body of Chirst."

Ahmen answers:

“amen.”

Ruben’s turn, priest:

“Body of Chirst”.

Ruben answers:

“Ruben."

###

Then, Ruben and Ahmen walked home from the church and caught up with other kids playing baseball in the neighborhood.

Ruben takes to the bat. And Ahmen was pitching. Ruben connected, hitting the ball over the fence

Seeing this, Ahmen says “it’s a run home."

“You mean a home run,” Ruben shouts.
“No, I mean a run home,” Ahmen shouted back. “You hit the ball straight through Mang Mando’s glass window.”

###

My other neighbor insisted to drink only running water last Easter Sunday.

He wanted the win the fund-raiser for our local church, a marathon.

###

A block away, the ladies were having fun in an open court volleyball game.

It was mid morning and still winds were quite strong.

My friend had an explanation for the winds, “because of all the fans.”

###

How many Filipinos are needed to change a light bulb?

“30, one to change the light bulb. 29 to complain, no need to change the bulb.”

###

Why do Filipinos love outdoors?

There is no indoor. Housing backlog runs up to millions.

###

Why are Filipinos easy target of human trafficking?

Lawmakers of the land are angry at the immigration bureau for asking so many questions.

###

Pres. BBM and First Lady Liza, accept the invitation to attend the coronation of His Majesty King Charles III and Her Majesty the Queen Consort.

Our First Couple to brush elbows with the royalties of the world.

###

The Gov. Degamo murder is now solved. “Case closed,” SOJ Remulla says.

The principal suspect, though, flies around the world, having the best time of his life.

###

While the Degamo murder suspect still has to be brought to the courts, I was in a court hearing over a libel case a month ago, witness to a funny court drama.

The prosecution lawyer, apparently from the PAO, called an elderly woman, his witness, to the stand and asked her,

“ Mrs. Santos, do you know me?”

Witness answers:

“Yes, I know you. I’ve known you since you were a young boy. Frankly, you’re a disappointment. You lie. You cheat on your wife. You manipulate people and you tell bad stories about people behind their back. You don’t deserve to be a lawyer that your passing the bar was a surprise. Yes, I know you.”

Stunned, the prosecution lawyer, unbelieving of what the witness just said and not knowing what to do, asked the witness if she knew the defense lawyer.

“Yes, I do,” she answered. “I’ve known Atty. Ramos since he was in short pants. I am close to the family that I can say, he too is big disappointment. He’s lazy, he also cheats on his wife, flirts with married women and has big drinking problem. The talk of the town is he is a lousy lawyer.”

At that point, the judge asked both counsels to approach the bench and in a whisper, he tells the two,

“If any of you asks her if she knows me, you’ll go straight to jail for contempt.”

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