Ever been in a situation where someone shares a great idea or shows off a skill - and it bothers you? You try to brush it off - but deep down, you feel a bit jealous. Guess what? That’s smart shaming. And yes - it's real. It might be happening when you're envious of someone else's brilliance.
THE BACK STORY
Let’s talk about it.
- Why do you feel envious?
- Why do you start smart shaming?
- How can you stop it?
WHAT IS SMART SHAMING?
Smart shaming is what happens when you let envy take over - and you subtly - or not-so-subtly - tear someone down for being:
- Too smart
- So talented
- Just plain awesome
Here’s how it usually goes.
Someone shares a great idea.
Instantly, you're feeling like they just one-upped you.
They’re naturally good at something.
Ugh, how does everything come so easily for them?
They stand out at work or school.
You're left standing there - feeling like you're in their shadow.
HOW IT HAPPENS
Does this seem familiar?
Situation:
Jessa comes up with a game-changing idea in your meeting - and the whole room is impressed.
- Before: You feel a little awkward and say, “Well, look at you, Einstein. No need to show off.”
- After: You see your manager support her, saying, “Excellent idea, Jessa, let’s run with that!”
Aha Moment: Suddenly, you feel foolish for trying to knock her down.
Why does this happen? It’s simple: You’re jealous. Whether you’re aware of it or not - it feels threatening when someone else steals the spotlight.
- Instead of appreciating their genius - you try to make them feel smaller with a joke or a sarcastic comment.
WHY IT HAPPENS TO YOU
It might stem from insecurity: feeling envious when someone shines brighter than you.
Maybe you're frustrated with your own struggles.
- In that moment, putting others down can make you feel better - or at least less left out.
Instead of applauding their accomplishments - you throw out passive-aggressive remarks.
Situation:
Lance wins an award for a project that’s next-level brilliant.
- Before: You mutter under your breath, “Must be nice to be perfect.”
- After: Someone else congratulates Lance - and it stings even more.
Aha Moment: You wonder why you didn’t congratulate him.
WHY IT HURTS YOU + OTHERS
When you feel envious and start smart shaming - it doesn’t just hurt you. It can affect the people around you too.
Smart shaming stops:
- People from sharing their unique insights
- New ideas from being brought to the table
- Creativity and talent from being recognized
Situation:
Steph answers a tough question in class - and your immediate thought is:
- Before: “We get it, Steph. You’re perfect.”
- After: Another student says, “Great job, Steph! How did you get that answer?”
Aha Moment: You realize you should have been encouraging her - not shutting her down.
CELEBRATE BRILLIANCE - NOT RESENTMENT
You need to switch gears. Celebrate people’s intelligence - instead of feeling threatened by it.
- Stop the cycle - and bring more positivity into the world instead.
Situation:
Max shares some incredible tech tips in your group chat.
- Before: You joke, “Alright, Mr. Genius, keep calm down there.”
- After: You turn it around and say, “Thanks, Max! These tips are exactly what we needed!”
Aha Moment: When you embrace the brilliance of others - instead of resenting it - you all grow.
- The spotlight doesn’t just belong to one person.
- It’s meant for everyone to shine.
APPRECIATE SMARTS
Whenever you see it - cheer for:
- Smartness
- Creativity
- Talent
That means you’ve got to give credit where it's due - even if it stings a bit.
- Be the one who lifts others up - instead of making them feel small.
By focusing on praise, you make the world better - one compliment at a time.
Situation:
Elaine solves a major problem at work.
- Before: You want to make a sarcastic comment to downplay it.
- After: You say, “Wow, Elaine, that’s brilliant! Let’s put this solution into action.”
Aha Moment: Now, everyone can see the value in her ideas - and you’re part of the success.
STOP SMART SHAMING
Start with Praise
Recognize someone’s great idea first - before offering any feedback.
Be Curious
Ask questions about how they arrived at their answer - instead of questioning their intelligence.
Call Out the Jealousy
When those snarky thoughts pop up - turn them around and focus on the good.
Set the Example
Be the first to show appreciation for others' skills and ideas.
Be Grateful
Embrace how much you’ve learned from others - even when you feel insecure.
- The more you embrace and celebrate others' brilliance - the more you'll realize there’s enough room for everyone.
Remember: Celebrate brilliance. Lift others up to make success more reachable.
YouTube Channel www.youtube.com/@ShowAndTellWithMissV
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