You're having a conversation. Someone is expecting a simple answer to a quick question or concern. But before they know it, the focus shifts - and suddenly it’s all about you.
THE BACK STORY
The conversation takes a wrong turn.
- Your weekend plans
- Your latest drama
- Your to-do list
Everything except what they needed.
How did your quick chat shift into your spotlight?
- Sound familiar?
- That’s a breakdown of basic conversation etiquette.
LISTEN FIRST, NOT LAST
When someone calls - pause, listen and process what they’re saying before reacting.
Scenario:
Jane calls her friend Sara to get advice about a work presentation.
Before: Sara cuts Jane off - and starts talking about her own problems.
After: Sara listens fully, gives Jane helpful advice - and only talks about herself after addressing Jane’s concern.
Quick fix: Ask yourself, “Did I hear their question clearly before I reply?
KEEP THE SPOTLIGHT WHERE IT BELONGS
Focus on the caller’s concern - not your updates.
Scenario:
Mike calls his brother Ben to confirm plans for their parents’ anniversary party.
Before: Ben talks over Mike, ignoring his question and complaining about unrelated things.
After: Ben stays on topic, answers Mike’s questions - and helps finalize the plans quickly.
Quick fix: Treat calls like two-way streets: don’t hog the lane.
ANSWER THE QUESTION, PERIOD
Clear questions need clear answers: yes, no - or relevant details only.
Scenario:
Lucy asks her neighbor Tom if he can water her plants while she’s away.
Before: Tom goes off on a tangent, sharing unrelated stories - leaving Lucy without a clear answer.
After: Tom says, “Yes, I’d be happy to" - and quickly confirms the details in under a minute.
Quick fix: Focus on the question - and give a clear, quick answer.
VALUE THEIR TIME
Stick to the timeline the caller mentions.
Scenario:
Emma asks Jake for a quick project update.
Before: Jake rambles, wasting Emma's time - and ignoring her question.
After: Jake answers clearly - and wraps up in under two minutes.
Quick fix: Stick to their time.
THE GOLDEN RULE OF CALLS
When someone calls you - the conversation is about them. They chose you to:
- Help
- Listen
- Respond to their need
It's not for a detour into your day.
Anything less is a total conversation fail.
TIPS AND TECHNIQUES
Next time someone comes to you with a concern - try this:
- Really listen
- Get what they’re asking
- Answer simply and fast
Be the listener they need. Keep the focus on:
- Their question
- Their concern
- Their moment
Respect:
- Their trust
- Their time
- Their reason for calling
Make them feel seen and heard.
Remember: Avoid scene-stealing. Stay focused on them.
YouTube Channel www.youtube.com/@ShowAndTellWithMissV
#WeTakeAStand #OpinYon #OpinYonNews #OpinYonColumn #VivienMangalindan #ShowAndTellWithMissV