(Un)common Sense by James Veloso
(Un)Common Sense

Our obsession with winning

May 28, 2021, 12:45 AM
James Veloso

James Veloso

Writer/Columnist

FOR the first time in recent years, our candidate for Miss Universe Rabiya Mateo failed to make it to the Top 10 during the pageant night that was eventually won by Miss Mexico Andrea Meza.

And while many Filipinos accepted Rabiya Mateo’s defeat with grace, others were so pissed off at her for what they perceived as failing not only herself but the entire country as well.

It’s as if she’s the one who brought disgrace and shame to the Philippines (conveniently forgetting our government officials who have bungled our Covid-19 response in a spectacular fashion).

-o0o-

That has made me realize that we Filipinos have this obsession with winning.

As kids, we’re taught that winning is the only acceptable outcome to anything – whether it be a school contest or childhood game.

Losers are treated as anathema, a total human failure, despised and reviled. Parents would point out to losers as the one person kids should not emulate.

The trouble with this kind of thinking is:

1. It instills a sense of perfectionism (“I must NEVER make mistakes”) that while beneficial in keeping us focused and alert on our goals, can lead us, in the worst-case scenario, to win the game at ANY cost, even through illegal means.

2. As the old saying goes, “We live and learn.” It is through mistakes that we learn how to improve ourselves. How can we improve ourselves when we never allow ourselves to make mistakes?

-o0o-

A recent article in the American magazine The Atlantic says that with the rise of social media, our obsession with winning has become even more prevalent.

There are now more eyes than ever looking at our social media profiles and judging us by our cover pictures.

“Social media threatens to make every slip-up an extinction-level event, socially and professionally. Meanwhile, a generation of overprotective Baby Boomer parents have shielded their Millennial and Gen Z kids from the small risks and failures that build the emotional fortitude required to withstand the inevitable, larger failures of adulthood,” author Arthur Brooks wrote.

This is one of the reasons why many of us don’t take defeat kindly, from the kid who would throw tantrums after losing a quiz bee, to a vice-presidential candidate who still insists that he won the election even after the Supreme Court has unanimously dismissed his electoral protests.

Unless we learn to accept defeat with grace and dignity, we can never ever move on and move forward, both individually and as a society.

-o0o-

I’d like to end this week’s column with a quote from a friend and former classmate of mine, posted on Facebook a few days back:

“…Kung hindi makapag-uuwi ng premyo o karangalan, ayos lang iyon dahil kasama sa karanasan ang pagkatalo. Wala pa kong kilala na sumabak sa contest na puro panalo.

“Bakit? Hindi dahil hindi sila magaling, kung hindi dahil hindi lang sila ang anak ng Diyos. Hindi lang ikaw ang may talento, hindi lang ikaw ang may panahon…

“…Kayakung napanghihinaan ka ng loob kapag natatalo ka sa mga sinasalihan mo; o di kaya naman ay ayaw mong sumali sa contest kasi takot kang matalo, pag-isipan mo uling mabuti: Wala kang katalo-talo sa experience na ibibigay sa iyo ng isang contest, anuman ang kalabasan.”

We take a stand
OpinYon News logo

Designed and developed by Simmer Studios.

© 2024 OpinYon News. All rights reserved.