Nationalism

But how could you love a country that had caused you so much pain? How could you trust countrymen who betrayed and cheated you and been the source of the misery of your family?

I was put in jail for nearly seven years. I underwent a criminal prosecution for a crime I did not commit.

For sheer inefficiency, my case dragged on as if I was already a convict. And the corruption of the judicial system has blurred the vision of court authorities, I had to pray to God to make a miracle. I barely survived.

The High And Mighty

And my story is not a singular story. It is a story repeated and told over and over again.

How many of my cellmates were incarcerated for months, and sometimes years, for shoplifting a pair of jeans in ShoeMart, only to hear in the news that lawmakers awarded themselves with millions of pesos of bonus for a “job well done”?

The high and the mighty are “legally” stealing money in our coffers and they are rewarded, the low and the powerless are “illegally” eking out a living and they are punished.

How could you be a proud member of a nation with dual standards? How can you be a part of a nation that does not treat you as a human being, which does not develop your maximum potential and instead place you in a chain of poverty and perpetual ignorance? How could you love a country that does not love you?

Losing Hope In The Country

The Philippine Daily Inquirer reported a survey conducted by Pulse Asia that 19 percent of Filipinos would want to leave our country if only there is a chance.

One out of five Filipinos does not see any hope in this country. It is going to the dogs.

Our fellow Filipinos, who perhaps had seen how their hard labor and honest work been put to waste and had never been promoted due to office politicking, or those artists and poets who cannot make a niche in the local cultural community because political values and economic expediencies determine their failure and success, which is alien to their profession, are perhaps the first to say that they have to leave the country.

I heard Ryan Cayabyab, a great Filipino musician in an interview said, “I am leaving the country because my talent is not recognized here. There is simply no venue.”

Indeed, why suffer the consequences of being a Filipino just because you are born in the Philippines?

Our Heroes Suffered, Too

Then I look into the lives of our heroes. And they too suffered.

Jose Rizal was persecuted by the Spaniards. The land of his family was confiscated, he was deported in Dapitan and eventually he was executed in Bagumbayan.

Andres Bonifacio suffered the inequities in the factory where he was working, worse, when he led the revolution, he was executed by his own fellow revolutionaries.

Ninoy Aquino was imprisoned for seven years for fighting the Marcos Dictatorship, he was also murdered when he came home from exile by members of Philippine military.

These were the heroes who loved our country and kept their fate to their fellowmen.

They love their country despite the frailties of their people. They loved their country despite of their sufferings. Or, perhaps, they realized that the country does not want this to happen too, and the country also pains, when one of its sons and daughters is suffering.

Longing For A Good Place

That after all, our nation had been longing for a good place for its people.

Only that, its colonial past had made its people quarreling among themselves and a social divide between the rich and the poor had perpetuated the system of injustice and inequity.

Our country perhaps loves us, only that its people had been too confused.

Thus, our country cannot carry out a system nor create an institution that translates into genuine love for its people.

In my seven years of incarceration, I realized that too.

Compliant, Diligent

Perhaps, our country also pained when I lose the best youthful years of my life; that our country also cried seeing the economic usefulness of my fellow detainees being put to waste.

And upon this realization, I humbly submitted myself to its judicial and penal system hoping that it will work.

I did not run away from it, because that will be a mockery and the more its judicial institution will be inutile.

As a good citizen, I followed the rules and regulations of the jail bureau despite its many limitations.

I volunteered my talent and skills educating my fellow inmates to augment their rehabilitation efforts.

I helped the jail bureau to become the bureau our country needs to show its concern for people who may have once been delinquent in their civic duties.

In a way, I was an instrument of our country’s love to our people.

Why We Were Born Filipinos

Our country perhaps is happy when its sons and daughters fight their idealism out in their offices, despite the many temptations of corruptions and favoritisms.

Our country is jubilant perhaps, when its young graduates go to the barrios and give their services there, despite the low pay and the politicians.

And perhaps, our country can only sigh, when one out its five children or probably more, wants to leave her.

It is like a mother who cannot stop the youngest of her child from leaving the family after much bullying from the father.

And the father here would be the inequity of our system. It takes a lot of sacrifice to love our country. It takes a lot of trust to have faith in our countrymen.

It takes a lot of confidence to submit oneself to its institutions.

It takes a lot of realizations to understand why you are a Filipino.