Some 35 years ago, a few years after I got married, I left my wife Malou and our two toddler sons for an overseas job in Saudi Arabia. Back then, we were ascribed as an Overseas Contract Worker or OCW, which has morphed now into Overseas Filipino Worker or OFW.
From a college teaching job in the Philippines, I landed working with a transportation rental company in Saudi. I was kind of an Office In-Charge (sort of manager) assigned in Saudi’s western part, the industrial city of Yanbu Royal Commission. Our company provided car rentals (sedan cars of all types and brands) and taxi services to all sorts of clients – Saudi locals, tourists, expat workers, and even Filipinos.
Under me at my assigned post were some drivers (mostly Indian and Pakistani nationals, no Filipino) and two auto mechanics (one was a Filipino). I was called “modir” (manager) by my subordinates. In time when I arrived at my post, I have to double time learning the Arabic language as I have to deal with the locals, other clients, and subordinates who cannot speak or understand English.
Except for the queasy intermittent attacks of homesickness (I recall having sleepless nights thinking about my dear Malou, and especially my second son who was only over-a-month old when I left). Life was fairly good then as I was regularly sending a quite lucrative amount to Malou from my $1,000.00 pay a month. The exchange rate then was P18.00-20.00 to a dollar. My living accommodation was at an internationally famed hotel. Aside from my regular post, I sometimes had to cross-duty at the airport, the town center, and at the hotel.
Now, let me recount two unforgettable observations I have had during my overseas job stint – perhaps, if only to provide a glimpse not only of the “gains” (higher income) but also of the “pains” of labor diaspora – family separation, psycho-emotional starvation suffered by family members, and worse, broken marriages and homes.
One, out of homesickness (if not, of other factors), many OFWs indulge in extra-marital relationships. I’ve observed not few OFWs who, already married back home, and unknown to their spouses in the Philippines, would manage – through scheming compliance of local laws, such as “multiple marriage” – to get a “family or couple accommodation” status and live together while working there. So, as long as they are overseas, these philandering OFWs are staying together; but whenever they come home to the Philippines, they go home to their original spouses and families.
Well, ‘tis not just belaboring the truth that philandering is likewise common back home. But, point of fact, for OFWs, the scourge of homesickness because of family separation is but overwhelming to succumb to temptations.
Two, at the place where I worked, I’ve observed how some or a good number of my fellow OFWs are addicted to gambling, sugapa sa sugal, particularly card game – aside from jueteng, and other forms of lottery. I have seen how they extravagantly bet with big amounts (and green money or Dollars at that!) and even jewelry items or valuables. I can’t avoid recalling two of my OFW friends who were certified “sugapa sa sugal” – one was a bowling pin boy with just a modest salary, at the hotel where I was staying; the other one was a Filipino-American working with an American petro-chemical company, with a hefty salary. I remember him very well because one time, it was told, with no more money and jewelry, he bet his unused original Levi’s trousers.
Come every Thursday evening before the Friday weekly holiday, these two friends of mine would each rent from me big cars to fetch their playmates for their overnight gambling galore. Well, hindi man ako naglalaro at hindi ako marunong, naaabutan din ako ng balato, at dolyar pa.
After a couple of years when I was already back in the Philippines, I happened to meet again my friend, the bowling pinboy, in an unexpected occasion: I was riding a passenger bus and he was the conductor.
On hindsight, hence, life in my then overseas job was undoubtedly laden with seemingly insurmountable temptations. In fact, I wasn’t spared too – but thanks heavens that I didn’t give in. For example, I remember quite well one mature Caucasian woman, wife of an American expat worker, who was our regular taxi customer for her routine aerobics sessions. On one occasion, she called me to book for a taxi, but unfortunately there was no available driver. She requested if I could just drive her instead – and out of courtesy I did, just for that occasion. But, the next time around, she was insisting that I’d be the one driving for her, not our assigned driver, and telling me further to go to their villa accommodation (her husband was out at work) as she prepared a food for me and that she wanted to show me something. I was quite alarmed by this, and knowing how strict the local laws were, I firmly told her I cannot and thus sent our driver for her.
Another example, my office was located just beside a hospital. It was always a welcome news for flirting OFWs every time a new Filipino nurse or hospital employee arrives. In time during the first few weeks of duty for the Filipina employee, she is paid a visit at the hospital by suitors bringing gifts – flowers, chocolates, etc. Some of my friends would even rent a luxurious car (American or German made) from me just to showcase their flirting stance to newly arrived Pinays.
Or, at times, I receive invitations to attend clandestine parties of Filipinos, and surprisingly finding out that female OFWs were around. These secret gatherings were breeding occasions for extra-marital relations.
Admittedly, thus, beset with this backdrop of “temptations” or threats to marital unity and exacerbated by my seemingly incurable homesickness, after over a year I thought of cutting short my contract in order to come home. I first tried requesting my employer for a family accommodation visa and have my wife and two sons come and stay with me. My employer rejected my request. So I just decided to come home, the air fare at my own expense.
Before coming home I called up my wife, telling her about my decision and to which she was at first adamant. But I told her:
“Look, I have one and a hundred reasons why I have to stay overseas – the pay, etc., etc. But I only have one reason in coming home – it’s you and our family. I don’t want to let our children grow up in my absence.” And the rest is history, I returned home.