Candid Conversations: Vivien Mangalindan
Candid Conversations

Life is Not a Prepared Speech

Aug 26, 2022, 3:43 AM
Vivien Mangalindan

Vivien Mangalindan

Columnist

Imagine this. You spend weeks doing research on a specific topic to impress some VIP’s at a dinner party you’ll attend. You write, rewrite and edit mercilessly. Then, you memorize your spiel to perfection. Plus, you make sure you have dynamic body language, facial expression and gestures. Oh, yes - you throw in vocal variety for dramatic effect. You even record your performance - both on audio and video - and ask for peer reviews from your trusted friends.

OUT OF PLACE

Finally, the big day comes. The expensive haircut and brand-new suit are well worth the expense. Yes, you feel like a million bucks. But… you quickly realize that no one is interested to listen to your presentation.

Why are you surprised? Life is not a prepared speech. On the spot, spontaneous and candid conversations are the norm in social gatherings. A dinner party is definitely not the place for a prepared speech. There’s a word for that behavior: tactless. Make an appointment. Deliver your pitch there - not in a wine and dine event.

COMMON SENSE IS NOT COMMON

Time and again, it’s been said in many places, in many ways. Common sense is not common. Always remember: first things first. What is the event about? Where will it be held? Who will be attending? Why were you invited? Your oh-so-out-of-place attempt to deliver a presentation backfires and instantly puts you on the Do-Not-Invite list.

SOCIAL GRACES

Haven’t you heard of etiquette and social graces? There is a time and place for everything. Observe the person who seems to be the life of the party. Listen to conversations around the room. Do you hear any prepared speeches? No? Well, take a hint.

TIPS AND TECHNIQUES

Candid conversations can turn into lively stress-busters during socials and special events. Make sure you stay away from dull and unimaginative quotations, as well as stale and memorized internet jokes. Those can be every bit as drab as a prepared speech.

Sharing insights and stories of human interest are generally welcome. Be a good sport and don’t take things personally when you are not in agreement with other viewpoints.

You won’t have to go into research, write and edit Prepared Speech mode when you use these three talking points that make candid conversations easy and effortless.

1. Challenge the mind.

2. Touch the heart.

3. Tickle the funny bone. (Just don’t be a second-rate trying-hard copycat thinking you’re as funny as your favorite comedian.)

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Vivien Mangalindan. Public speaker. Humorist, satirist and social commentator. Broadcaster, podcaster and talkshow host. Certified: Mental Toughness Coach, NLP Practitioner and Mental Health First Aid Responder. vivienshowandtell@gmail.com


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