When leadership takes a wrong turn - it’s usually because of one big mistake. Too much telling: not enough asking.
THE BACK STORY
If you’re stuck in a cycle of barking orders - and wondering why no one’s delivering - it’s time for a serious reset.
Let’s look into why asking is your ultimate leadership tool
- Asking is more than inclusive. It’s a game-changer.
WHY TELLING DOESN'T WORK
Telling people what to do might seem efficient - but here’s why it backfires.
It Makes People Resist
- Nobody likes being bossed around.
- You push harder: they push back.
It Kills Creativity
- When you tell - they stop thinking for themselves.
- No fresh ideas. No problem-solving.
It Assumes You’re Always Right
- Telling overlooks your team’s input.
- You miss out on better solutions and new perspectives.
WHY ASKING WORKS
Asking questions changes how your team reacts and performs.
It Builds Buy-In
- Ask - and they’ll feel involved - plus take ownership.
Scenario. Alex gets a new project.
Before.
- Leader: “Just do it this way.”
- Alex feels excluded.
After.
- Leader: “How do you think we should approach this?”
- Alex feels involved and takes ownership.
It Sparks Problem-Solving
- Asking makes them think: “How can I fix this?”
- Instead of waiting to be told - they act.
Scenario. Ted's team is stuck.
Before.
- Leader: “Here’s the solution.”
- Ted follows without thinking.
After.
- Leader: “What’s the best way to solve this?”
- Ted suggests creative solutions.
It Creates Trust
- It’s more than just work. It’s about valuing their input.
Scenario: Jay hesitates to share concerns.
Before:
- Leader: “I’ll handle this.”
- Jay feels ignored.
After:
- Leader: “What challenges are you facing?”
- Jay opens up and trusts the leader.
HOW TO SHIFT FROM TELLING TO ASKING Change your tune. Turn your 'telling' habit into a powerful 'asking' approach.
Ask What to STOP Doing
Instead of “Do it this way” - try:
- “What’s not working?”
- “What do you think we should stop or change?”
This gets them thinking critically - and opens the door for honest feedback.
Use Open-Ended Questions
Skip 'yes/no' questions. Go with:
- “How can we improve this?”
- “What’s stopping you from trying a new approach?”
These questions spark ideas and real conversations.
Listen Without Judgment
Even if their ideas aren’t perfect:
- Listen fully
- Thank them
- Show you care
If they still keep doing things their old way - get curious:
- “Why does this approach feel right to you?”
- “What challenges are you facing that I might not see?”
Knowing their reasons helps solve the real issue.
TIPS AND TECHNIQUES
Telling is easy - but asking works wonders.
Great leaders don’t tell people what to do. They inspire and empower them.
- Stop telling
- Start asking
It’s simple, effective and a total game-changer.
Remember: Leadership starts with asking.
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