Candid Conversations: Vivien Mangalindan
Candid Conversations

Know Your Love Language

Feb 10, 2023, 7:52 AM
Vivien Mangalindan

Vivien Mangalindan

Columnist

THE BACK STORY

Imagine, you gave it your best shot. You gave it your all. You loved with all of your heart. And yet, things didn’t work out. Ouch! What went wrong?

Perhaps, you were not speaking the same ‘language’. Whether at work, or in your personal life, how do you express affection to someone you love?

FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES

Author Gary Chapman wrote The 5 Love Languages in 1992. Allow me to share some insights from his book. Other than what we speak daily, here is a list of five ‘love languages’ we speak too.

My simple definition of love language is: how we give and and want to receive love.

Gifts

Don’t give chocolates to someone trying to lose weight.

Quality Time

If you don’t spend time doing what your partner enjoys, what’s the point?

Acts of Service

Don't spend your day cooking, if your partner would rather have you help him write a report.

Physical Touch

Sometimes, a hug is worth a thousand words.

Words of Affirmation

Perhaps, it means so much to your partner when you say: ‘I feel happy when you…’

IDENTIFY YOUR LOVE LANGUAGE

Are you and your partner speaking the same language?

Here's a simple exercise to find out.

Write the 5 love languages on a piece of paper, or into your cellphone.

… Rank the five in order of importance to you1. 2. 3. 4. 5.

... Next, write what you think/believe/feel are the order of importance to your beloved.

Then, have your him/her do the same exercise. No cheating. No asking for clues.

… When done, compare notes.

… Do you have the same answers?

MOMENTS OF TRUTH

Are you ready to face reality?

1. What if one gets it completely right, but the other is completely wrong?

2. Or, what if both are completely wrong?

3. And then, there is the match made in heaven: the two who get it completely right.

TIPS AND TECHNIQUES

It’s not the end of the world if your answers don’t match.

² It’s still a good idea to learn to speak your partner’s language if you want to make each other feel more loved.

² For new lovers, as well as longtime partners, now is as good a time as any to find out how you can make your beloved feel more appreciated.

Give yourselves the chance to make today better than yesterday… and tomorrow even better than today.

vivienshowandtell@gmail.com


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