Have you ever felt jealous of someone’s fame, beauty or intelligence? It’s ridiculous how you spend your time monitoring their progress. And then, you turn green with envy over their success. If you had spent your time more productively, perhaps you would be better off now.
I wanted to understand the root cause of this common yet undesirable behavior. So, I called my psychiatrist friend to gain some fresh insights. Here’s what I found out. JEALOUSY often stems from Insecurity or Inferiority Complex. Aha, so that’s what it is. It all makes sense now. If you stop comparing yourself to others, then there would be no problem.
I doubt that I’ll find many people willing to admit that they’re insecure. And yet, they often feel they’re not good enough. They doubt their capabilities, have low self-esteem, and fear social situations.
ROOT CAUSE
Let’s start from the beginning. When, where and how did it all start? Think back.
l As a child, did you feel that a sibling was more loved than you?
l In school, did they laugh at you when you gave wrong answers?
l As a young adult, did you get upset when you weren’t invited to parties and events?
Now, think again. How old are you today? Why in heaven’s name are you still carrying those bitter feelings and resentments until now?
STOP COMPARING
Definition of terms.
JEALOUS - feeling or showing envy of someone or their achievements and advantages. INFERIORITY - when you compare yourself with others and perceive yourself as less than the one with whom you make the comparison.
Have you ever heard these comments from jealous people?
1. Her skin is so fair. I think she’s been taking glutathione.
2. Her nose looks too perfect. Surely, she’s had a nose-lift.
3. His grades are so high. I have a feeling his parents hired a tutor.
BE GRATEFUL
Instead of looking at what you lack, focus on what you have. Identify your strengths, blessings and natural talents. What is it that you do easily and effortlessly? It could be as simple as: ‘I make people laugh when they’re having a bad day.’
TIPS AND TECHNIQUES
Consider these tips to stop feeling jealous of what other people have.
l Stay away from social media. Stop stalking people and updating yourself on all their accomplishments.
l Stop ‘crab-mentality’ behavior. Destroying other people’s happiness will one day bring karma to your doorstep.
My wish for you is to be rich, well and happy. Find your joy. Stop comparing, and you will be rewarded with blessings coming your way!
vivienshowandtell@gmail.com