Sometime in December, last year, Santa Claus, an honest politician, and a compassionate lawyer were in the elevator at the Manila Hotel. Just before the door opened, all three spotted a P100 bill on the floor. Who of the three picked it up? Answer: Santa, surely, because the other two do not exist.
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Five reasons why Santa Claus must be a man: 1. He turns up late. 2. He drinks your booze and eats your food. 3. He comes only once. 4. He clears off before you wake up. 5. He wears same outfit year after year, something no woman would ever do.
But, Santa could be a woman, because men are only interested in stockings when someone is wearing them.
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One Christmas eve, the doctor was examining his last patient, a 20-year-old lady, accompanied by her mother. The lady complained of increasing weight, morning sickness, and strange food cravings.
Without doubt, the doctor, after checking on the lady, announced the lady was pregnant.
This got the mother indignant. Without hesitation, the mother tells the doctor, this was impossible as the lady has never been with a man.
The lady confirmed what her mother said, claiming she had never even so much kissed by a man.
The doctor stood up and walked to the open window. He looked up the sky saying, “the last time something like this happened, a bright star appeared in the sky and three wise men came over to the manger, exactly this month of the year. I’m not going to miss that.”
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Buboy, my good friend and an expert photographer, got an assignment to shoot street scenes in Metro Manila. He called me one late afternoon sounding so depressed.
After explaining to him that EDSA is a real nightmare, he answered, its all over.
Fotogs easily get depressed, they always focus on the negatives. But brighten when the negatives get out from the dark room.
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Another friend went to see his doctor. After being told of what ails him, he tells his doctor if he can get a second opinion.
“Of course, do that. You can come back tomorrow,” his doctor tells him.
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At the Tacloban airport, control tower, “Please report your height and position.”
Pilot: “I’m six feet and 2 and in the cockpit right now.”
Control tower, “That’s a big problem your airline hired you. But what's your other problem?”
“This is my first landing in this city. Is that strip of abandoned but unfinished building the terminal?” the pilot asked.
Control tower: “That the bigger problem.”
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A Tacloban City visitor notices the unfinished airport terminal.
‘Looks like an abandoned government project. The steel bars are rusting. The cement slobs are black by long period of non-activity. What happened here?”
Tourist guide: “Sir, Leyte is home to very happy people. we call ourselves warays. Waray problema. We have no problem here. Leyte is a very positive province that the word problem does not exist here.
"We call problems opportunities. We have lots of them, opportunities, making our local leaders very very rich. But we’re very happy. That’s lesson no 1 in your trip to the happy land of Leyte.”
#Halakhak #RayJunia #InTheHappyLandOfLeyte #TaclobanAirport #Tacloban #OpinYon #WeTakeAStand