Vivien Mangalindan

Vivien Mangalindan

Columnist

Ever feel like you’re stuck in a conversation that’s totally fake? They’re quoting stuff, acting wise, or just scrolling while pretending to care. Let’s call it what it is - FAKE TALK.

THE BACK STORY

It's everywhere. Here’s why it happens - and how we can bring back real connection.


THE 'BE IMPRESSIVE ' ACT


Some folks think they need to sound smart 24/7 just to matter in a conversation. Big words, big tone - but zero realness.

  • Nobody connects with a know-it-all on autopilot.

Scenario:
Tod’s trying to impress Sue by sounding smart in a meeting.

Before:

  • Tod: "In my experience with disruptive innovation…"
  • Sue: (Rolls her eyes and sighs.)

After:

  • Tod: "Honestly, balancing work and life is tough sometimes."
  • Sue: (Smiles.)

Aha Moment:

Being real, not impressive, is what actually connects people.


THE QUOTE MACHINE


Some people toss around quotes like popcorn in a movie. It doesn't mean you believe it - or even understand it.

  • People want you - not recycled lines.

Scenario:


Leo tries to sound deep by quoting motivational lines to Nina.

Before:

  • Leo: "As Gandhi said, ‘Be the change you wish to see…’"
  • Nina: (Nods politely - but checks the time.)

After:

  • Leo: "Honestly, I get stuck too - I’m just trying to figure it out like everyone else."
  • Nina: (Looks relieved - and joins in.)

Aha Moment:


Your own unpolished truth is way more relatable than recycled quotes.


THE PHONE WALL


You’re mid-sentence - and they're suddenly on their phone. Talking to them feels like talking to a chair.

  • Real connection needs real attention.

Scenario:

Maya’s telling a funny story. Alex starts scrolling.

Before:

  • Maya: "I walk in and slip on the floor."
  • Alex: (Glances up.) He mumbles, "Haha," then goes back to his phone.

After:

  • Maya: "So I walk in and slip on the floor!"
  • Alex: (Laughs out loud.) He says, "No way - what happened next?"

Aha Moment:


If you’re not really there - you’re not part of the moment.


THE 'DON'T WANNA SOUND DUMB' FREEZE

Some folks stay quiet out of fear. They don’t wanna look silly - so they say nothing at all.

  • But real chats need human voices - not perfect silence.

Scenario:

Ellen's unsure about speaking up in her group.

Before:

  • Ellen: "I’ll just listen. I might say something dumb."
  • Jack: (Shrugs - and moves on with the meeting.)

After:

  • Ellen: "Okay, this might sound weird - but what if we tried it this way?"
  • Jack: (Laughs.) He says, "Actually, that’s a cool idea."

Aha Moment:


Being brave and real is how real talk starts.


THE MASK WEARER

When someone’s pretending to be something they’re not - it’s obvious. And it feels off.

  • Pretending makes people pull away. 
  • Honesty brings people closer.

Scenario:


Sam is trying hard to come off as chill and confident.

Before:

  • Sam: "I’m always in control. Nothing gets to me."
  • Jenna: (Tilts her head, unconvinced.)

After:

  • Sam: "Honestly, I mess up a lot - but I’m trying to grow."
  • Jenna: (Relaxes and nods.)

Aha Moment:

Dropping the mask creates space for real trust and connection.


TIPS AND TECHNIQUES
Drop the Act

Genuine connection isn’t about impressing others. It comes from being authentic.

  • Forget the fake talk, quotes, or rehearsed lines.
  • Drop the act
  • Be real

True conversations happen when you come as you are - no filter, no mask.

  • Real talk builds the connections that matter.

Remember: Just be you.

vivienshowandtell@gmail.com

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