Candid Conversations: Vivien Mangalindan
Candid Conversations

Frenemies and Betrayal: The Shocking Truth

Oct 4, 2024, 7:15 AM
Vivien Mangalindan

Vivien Mangalindan

Columnist

You thought she was your best friend. You shared your dreams, your secrets, your victories - everything.

THE BACK STORY

She was the one you called when you needed a shoulder to cry on - or someone to celebrate with. You never imagined anything could go wrong.


WHEN TRUST BECOMES TREACHERY

It’s like waking up in a nightmare. The person you trusted most is secretly wishing for your downfall.

– You discover that this so-called friend has been hiding jealousy and insecurity all along. Every time you shared your success - she was secretly hoping for your downfall.


What felt like genuine friendship suddenly turns into a painful betrayal from the person you trusted most.


– How do you deal with the emotional fallout of realizing someone close to you was actually rooting against you?

THE SNEAKY SABOTEUR

Situation

You’ve been working hard - and it’s paying off. Your colleague Jessa seemed supportive - always cheering you on during meetings. But after you land a promotion - things change.

– Before: Jessa celebrated your little victories - and offered advice when you needed it.

– After: Suddenly, she’s making snide remarks. She criticizes your decisions and spreads rumors about how you didn’t really deserve the promotion.

– Action: Don’t engage in office drama. Instead, have a calm, professional conversation with Jess. Ask if there’s something she’d like to discuss - and make it clear that you value a positive work environment. Shift focus back to your work and find colleagues who genuinely support your growth.

THE INSECURE IN-LAW

Situation

You’ve always gotten along with your sister-in-law, Elsa. She welcomed you warmly into the family. But now that you and your partner are closer to his parents - she seems distant and cold.

– Before: Emily shared family recipes, traditions and invited you to every family gathering.


– After: She’s making passive-aggressive comments - hinting that you’re trying to 'replace' her in the family.

– Action: Acknowledge her feelings. Let Emily know that you value her role in the family and appreciate her. Invite her to a day out together - just the two of you. Bond and reassure her that you’re not here to compete - but to be a part of the family.


THE ENVIOUS FRIEND

Situation

You’re at a friend’s birthday party - excited to share your recent travel stories. Your long-time friend Matt has always been excited to hear about your adventures - until now.

– Before: You and Mark loved swapping stories - laughing about your travel bloopers.


– After: Mark’s comments are short - and he looks annoyed every time you mention your trip. He starts talking to others - in a sarcastic way - about how 'lucky' you are.

– Action: Pull Mark aside for a private chat. Ask if everything’s okay. Offer to hear about what’s going on in his life. If it turns out he’s feeling a bit left out - remind him that you value his friendship and appreciate his support.

TIPS AND TECHNIQUES

Finding out you have a 'frenemy' is like having the rug pulled out from under you. One minute, you’re sharing your dreams - and the next, it hits you.


Someone you thought was your friend is hiding jealousy behind a smile. But don’t let that drag you down.

Understand that these toxic vibes are your first step to getting back on solid ground.

Shake it off.

– Don’t let someone’s envy dim your shine. Acknowledge your hurt - then let it go.

Surround yourself with the good folks.

– Invest time in relationships with people who genuinely support you.

Keep shining.

– Don’t let a frenemy’s negativity hold you back. Keep chasing your dreams.

Remember: You deserve friends who cheer you on. Choose genuine connections.


vivienshowandtell@gmail.com

YouTube Channel www.youtube.com/@ShowAndTellWithMissV

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