THE BACK STORY Ever given what you thought was helpful feedback, only for it to backfire? Some people react like they’ve been attacked instead of helped. * Feedback: helpful insights to improve - not criticize.
DRAMATIC REACTIONS
Let’s explore why those "feedback freak-out moments" feel like fireworks.
Ego Alert
- Feedback can feel like a personal attack. The ego fights back.
Scenario: Albert gets feedback about managing time better.
- Before: "What? They think I’m lazy?" He feels attacked - and gets defensive.
- After: "Oh, they just want to help me be more efficient." Albert starts using better time management tricks.
Fear of Change
- Growth needs work - and feedback often points out things we need to change. That can be scary.
Scenario: Mia is told to change how she runs meetings.
- Before: "But I’ve always done it this way." She panics - and resists.
- After: "Okay, this might actually make things smoother." Mia gives it a try - and sees improvement.
Unhealed Wounds
- Past bad experiences with feedback can make someone react badly to even helpful comments.
Scenario: Sam gets feedback - but has bad past experiences with criticism.
- Before: "Here we go again. I can’t do anything right." He gets upset - and shuts down.
- After: "Wait, this is different. They’re trying to help - not attack me." Sam listens - and makes positive changes.
Miscommunication
- Sometimes feedback doesn’t land as intended - and that causes unnecessary conflict.
Scenario: Tanya gets written feedback that sounds too blunt.
- Before: "Wow, that was kinda harsh." She feels frustrated.
- After: "Let me check if they meant it that way." Tanya asks, realizes it wasn’t personal - and improves her work.
TURNING DRAMA INTO DIALOGUE
What can you do when someone reacts explosively to your feedback?
Check Your Tone
- Was your message clear and calm?
Empathize
- Recognize how they’re feeling - and show you mean well.
Clarify
- Ask what upset them - and be open to understanding.
Focus on Solutions
- Guide the conversation towards growth - not blame.
THE BIG PICTURE
Feedback is a gift. It’s not meant to tear you down - but to help you grow. It might not feel great at first - yet it’s a chance to:
- Improve
- Build new skills
- Unlock new opportunities
Take feedback in stride. See it as a step toward your next level.
- One step at a time - you get better.
TIPS AND TECHNIQUES
The next time you face a “feedback freak-out” - take a deep breath and keep in mind: it’s about the bigger picture.
- Handle the moment with grace - your goal is to help, not hurt.
- If you’re the one getting feedback - take a breath before reacting and ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?”
Growth begins when we truly listen - and go beyond the words.
Remember: Don’t let feedback turn into a frenzy. Use it to improve - not explode.
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