Do you know that when PNoy was president he ordered the purchase of 5,000 septic tanks. As soon as the army learned how to drive them, it will attack China.
A farmer in his 40’s finally decided to go down from the mountain and explore the city nightlife.
Entering a brothel, the madam noticed him but madam was out of girls.
Thinking the farmer would not know it anyway, she thought of giving him an inflatable doll.
Few minutes later, the farmer steps out of the room. Madam curious asked, “how was it?”
Farmer answered, “I don’t know. I bit her on the neck and she farted and flew out the window.”
I met this high school classmate who asked how I was doing.
I answered, “Remember those days we had long hair? Today I am longing for hair.”
Mario and Jose were drinking beer in a bar when the city’s fire alarm system went off and fire trucks were rushing in the streets.
Jose stood up and rushed to the door. Mario called out Jose, “I did not know you were a fireman.”
Jose answered, “I am not. The husband of my girlfriend is.”
Erap was in his match class in high school, raises his hand to ask his teacher a question.
“Do square roots produce fruits?” he asked.
Still on Erap.
In his music/theatre class in high school, the teacher asked, “Why did Lea Salonga ask for a ladder?”
Erap: “To reach the high notes.”
Erap went to his golf game with extra pair of socks.
He says he’s ready just in case he makes a hole in one.
Why did Erap put his cash in the freezer.
He was buying a car the next day and the deal was "pay in cold cash".
This morning I wake up, stuffy pillows on my top.
I tried to move my trembling feet to the side. But wife was on the bedside.
It’s too early, she complains. I have morning meetings, I explain.
This is a normal morning scene. Waking up the wife is like a sin.
At a pet shop, I asked, “how do goldfish age?”
Answer: “Take out the 'g'.”
#Halakhak #RayJunia #DoSquareRootsProduceFruits #OpinYonColumn #OpinYon