Sometime in June last year, Nightbirde (Jane Marcrewski in real life), then struggling with cancer and who died only last month, made headlines after earning a golden buzzer from Simon Cowell for her shining audition for “America’s God Talent.”
After she finished her stunning performance, she even more inspired everyone when she said:
“You can’t wait until life isn’t hard anymore before you decide to be happy.”
Powerfully profound. Indeed, the right time to decide to be happy is NOW. Neither the wrenching challenges of the present (like our current lingering pandemic crisis) nor the anxious waiting for future success should deter us from CHOOSING to be happy and fulfilled in the present moment.
A Good Life is a Choice
St. Augustine of Hippo once wrote: “Deus qui creavit te sine te, non salvabit te sine te.” God who created you without you, cannot save you without you.
God created us without us. When we were born into this world, God did not consult us – whether we like it or not to be brought into this life, or as to what family or who our parents would be. The choice is of God. He’s the giver of life.
God cannot save us without us. When it comes to our “salvation” – or, to use the more secular word, “liberation” – both in this life and in the afterlife, God cannot do it alone. He needs our choice, our decision, our cooperation, and He will respect it.
In the same token, hence, a GOOD life, which is a Godly life and undoubtedly a HAPPY one, is a CHOICE. You want to have a good, righteous and happy life – you have to choose or decide to have it, and embrace whatever it entails.
From my own life’s “wandering and wondering,” I’ve reached one profound realization: rather than loathe the present disappointments or be anxious about the future, what is more meaningful is just to EXPERIENCE life, learn and grow with it every single day, and relish its pure and simple joys with love and gratitude.
In other words, the more meaningful way is choosing to Live, Learn, Love, and Laugh.
Choosing to Live
In the poem, “Before You,” of American poet William Arthur Ward, the last line reads: “Before you die, live.”
Truly, choosing to live is not just to exist – as in “eating, working, and sleeping” – but to experience life’s JOYS and SORROWS, UPS and DOWNS, OPPORTUNITIES and CHALLENGES, VICTORIES and DISAPPOINTMENTS. As has oft been said, they all happen for a reason. Thus we can draw MEANING even from life’s WORST circumstances.
Choosing to live is deciding to be in the present moment, not brooding over the past nor being anxious about the future.
Choosing to live is opting to live a clean and healthy life – which, appropriately put, is a “virtuous” life. The Greek philosopher Aristotle once said: “Virtus in medio stat.” Virtue stands in the middle.
A virtuous life is a life of moderation. No, not simply moderation of greed nor of any sinful or wrongful act – because whatever is bad or wrong in any of its degree is still wrong. But, to my reckoning, Aristotle’s virtue of moderation refers particularly to our physiological and affective appetites, desires and wants (like food, drinks, sex, etc.).
Most importantly, choosing to live is choosing God to be present in your life. It is living a meaningful and purpose-driven life. As Socrates of old once said,
“An unexamined life is not worth living.”
Choosing to Learn
On serious pondering, it can be said that life is a constant work in progress; it’s a never-ending learning process from womb to tomb and beyond.
Truth to tell, failures and mistakes in life are not totally undesirable – they are but opportunities for us to learn and grow. As has been said, “Growth happens at the edge of our comfort zone.” Besides, failures do not exist unless you consider yourself as one, or you throw in the towel and give up. And mistakes? They are nothing to be afraid of, because they are not completely voluntary (i.e. just a lapse in judgment due to lack of knowledge) – and hence, they are opportunities for learning the lessons.
That life is indeed a constant learning enterprise and that the human person has the unlimited potential to reach the unreachable is affirmed by my favorite author and educationalist, Paulo Freire, when he wrote:
“Man, who is an incomplete being, and yet conscious of his incompletion, has the inherent potential for completion.”
Choosing to Love
Love is a fundamental human vocation. We are all called to love. From birth we have proceeded from God’s creative act of love. And we were brought into this world not alone but into a locus of love called, family. Then with our transgressions, God delivered us through his redemptive love. And in the afterlife, we shall forever delight in God’s compensative love.
Amor est diffusivum sui. Love diffuses itself. In other words, it is the natural character of love not to be kept, but to be shared. As with the truism that “nobody can give what he does not have,”+ it is quite impossible for one to give love if he or she has not experienced love.
Experiencing the wonderful mystery of love is life’s one magnificent meaning. Thus, St. Teresa of Calcutta cannot be more apt when she said:
“At the end of life, what is most important is not how many great things you have done or how many diplomas you have received, but how much you have loved.”
Choosing to Laugh
Finally, a meaningful and satisfying life is a life filled with laughter and smiles – with pure joys and gratitude for oneself and for others.
Laughter is the best medicine – clichéd, but true. Laughter is an expression of joy, contentment, gratitude, or happiness. There are, perhaps, two ways in which you can laugh – with yourself (or even “at yourself) or with others; spontaneously or self-induced.
Laughing with or at yourself may be exemplified by, say, you walk down a street, you trip, stumble and fall, but you’re not seriously hurt. Instead of being horrified or embarrassed, you stood up, dust yourself off, and have a good laugh in front of others. Here, you’re not actually putting yourself down; you’re just seeing humor in such a negative event.
Or, how many times would you often have a good laugh by yourself remembering priceless moments in your life or you afford a relishing smile on your face out of gratefulness for the beauty of nature or for whatever blessing you have received?
Laughing with others – there’s no denying, of course – is experiencing the joy of being with others, cheering up not just yourself but others too. This strengthens relationships, relaxes the mood, and signals that everything is OK in your group.
Verily, according to numerous studies, laughing – both with yourself or others – is linked to our physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It strengthens your immune system, boosts your mood, diminishes pain, and protects you from the damaging effects of stress.
One last important thing. Choosing to laugh, being an expression of contentment, is practicing the virtue of gratefulness. And gratitude, which according to Cicero is the “parent of all virtues,” is a veritable wellspring of blessings or good things that come your way. Wisely put, the more we are grateful, the more we will find things to be grateful for.
In sum, the more meaningful way is choosing to embrace life’s unfading beauty, and be open to constant learning and growth, unceasing love, and lasting happiness.