As they say, in the Philippines nobody loses in an election. Always, he is cheated.
In the last presidential elections, even when candidate Leni Robredo was telling everyone to calm down, fury was on the air over claims of Smartmatic cheating replay.
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At the local level, cheating was done mostly via vote buying.
There were charges, though, of Smartmatic miracles as little known candidates for council seats who did not actively campaign made it to the top and early favorites lost, if not in the borderline.
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Politicians are an interesting lot. They draw energy from campaigns that starting from first day of office, the thought is already on the next elections. And they call this forward looking.
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OpinYon in an interview:
“what did your wife say after you lost the elections?”
Candidate:
“If you think the winner in the last election was most happy over my loss, you’re wrong. Happiest was my wife. Now I have time for my family, for my growing up children.”
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In the battle for preference, who should go first? The mayor or the doctor? The dispute was settled, referring to the decision of the gods who gave it in favor of the mayor, saying, “Let the thief go first and the executioner to follow.”
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How come most of our politicians are lawyers? Politicians do a lot of talking and promising. That’s the exactly how lawyers are trained.
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Do you know that lawyers are people who write a 10,000 word document and call it a brief?
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Lawyers are sometimes victims of their own calculated mischief. This is one story that made a laugh.
A little old lady from the province walked into the main offices of Metro Bank with a large paper bag. She tells the teller she wanted to deposit P10 million but wanted to see the bank president first.
Teller checked the contents in the bag brought the old lady before the president.
The president politely welcomed the old probinsyana while asking how she got hold of so much cash.
Is this inheritance?
“No”, she replied. “I bet”
“You bet on horses?” the president followed up. “No”, the old lady said. “I bet on people,” she explained.
Seeing his confusion, the old lady decided to demonstrate. “I’ll bet you P100,000 that by 10AM tomorrow your balls will be square,” she dares the president. The bet was immediately accepted.
The president, taking no chances, decided to stay home.
Next morning he checked himself in the shower. Everything was okay so he reported to office jubilant and expecting a P100K windfall.
At 10 a.m. the old lady with a younger man who she introduced as a lawyer was escorted by security into the president’s office.
The president tells the old lady,
“I checked myself few minutes ago and I'm all ok. I’m the same as always only P100,000 richer.”
The old lady requested that she be able to see for herself and the president, thinking she was just being reasonable stood up and dropped his pants.
She then instructed him to bend over and grab hold of his balls. Everything was normal, making the president P100,000 richer.
As he was adjusting his pants, the president noticed the lawyer winching in agony and banging his head against the wall. ‘What’s wrong with him?’ he asked the old lady.
“I cant expect less, I bet him P500,000 that by 10 this morning I’d have the president of Metrobank by the balls,” the lady explained.
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The elections are over. And there are always winners and losers. Lets all move on. Cheating is always part of risks in elections in particular and our life in general.
Lets all just laugh at our folly. Be happy. Up ahead is a big challenge on our economy. We cannot afford to be divided and fighting.