When we hear the word gym, we think of exercise, muscles plus an attractive figure. But when I say mental gym, people look at me as if I’m a creature from Pluto. Why?
REALITY CHECK
Wouldn’t you want to build your mental muscle?
1. At least you won’t be teased about ‘loading’ when your thought process takes too long.
2. Your answers and comments won’t be off-topic because your comprehension skills are below sea level.
3. Your mouth won’t be hanging open as you say ‘aaahhhhh’ when you’re absolutely clueless.
SPEAK UP
Definition of terms (according to Google).
Giving our opinion. We say what we think, feel or believe about something or somebody.
I’ve noticed certain predictable behavior during meetings. When the boss asks for feedback or insights - or even just any comments - an awkward silence suddenly fills the room. Notice, everyone immediately clams up. The boss was just asking for opinions.
Why are most people afraid to speak up when asked - but are so brave when they think the ‘enemy’ is not around?
When you’re not in agreement with someone:
l Do you just keep quiet and back-stab them later?
l Do you courageously take a stand and give your opinion?
When you dare to give your opinion:
l Do you raise your voice?
l Do you deliver your best rendition of ‘angry face’?
THE BACK STORY
Try to analyze why you’re afraid to give an opinion. Think back in time to your childhood. Were you frank and straightforward when you were a preschooler?
l ‘No’ when you didn’t like something.
l ‘Yes’ when you wanted it.
And then you started going to school.
l You were not allowed to give your opinions anymore.
l You were ordered to sit down and keep quiet.
l You were punished by your parents for being disobedient in class.
We can’t keep blaming the past. We can learn and grow. See those comments online? Those are opinions. Aha, there is hope!
TIPS AND TECHNIQUES
If you are are a newcomer at giving opinions during meetings, use these safe opening lines.
1. “I feel that …”
2. “Speaking for myself …”
3. “In my experience …”
4. “I’d suggest that …”
5. “As far as I’m concerned …”
Now that I’ve given you some tools and pick-up lines, I believe you’ll have the courage and confidence to speak up the next time the boss asks for your opinion. Build your mental muscle. One step at a time. One day at a time. Go for it!
vivienshowandtell@gmail.com