Did you know that as early as the 1800s, legalizing divorce around the globe was a contentious issue?
Theocrat and revolutionary philosopher Louis de Bonald had opposed the inclusion of divorce in the Napoleonic Code, the official civil code of France, which recognized it since 1762. France was among the first countries to legalize divorce.
De Bonald, also known as a counter-revolutionary philosopher, argued: "Divorce takes away all authority from the father, all dignity from the mother, all security from the child."
Thinking ahead, "It transforms domestic society into a struggle between strength and weakness; it constitutes the family as a temporary lease where the inconstancy of the human heart stipulates its passions which ends where new passions begin."
No Hopeless Case
In a recent homily, Fr. Abundio Bacatan, a lawyer-priest, echoed the stand of the Catholic Church and declared "divorce is not the answer to marital conflicts and incongruities."
There are resolves to wounded marriages, he stressed, even the seemingly hopeless cases that the Catholic Church recognizes.
The Family Code has strong directives and strictures that respond to all possible cases in the Act on Violence against Women and Children (VAWC). These range from economic to physical to psychological abuses committed by a partner, particularly the husband. Battery and other forms of abuses imaginable are already within the realm of VAWC.
The church, Father Bacatan underscored, recognizes the declaration of nullity of marriage or annulment when there are circumstances that make a marriage "annulable" and void from the very start.
"So why introduce divorce?"
Catholics and Muslims on Divorce
Absolute Divorce under House Bill 9349 has passed its final reading.
Thousands of Filipino couples have ants in their pants waiting for its approval into a law.
Being a predominantly Catholic country, the topic on divorce had been taboo for a far-extended time when it is allowed in Catholic countries like Ireland, Malta and the Vatican.
Relative divorce or legal separation was introduced in the country on March 11, 1917 which was then only allowed in cases of criminal conviction for adultery and concubinage. The limitation is that neither can get married again.
The case is different for Filipino Muslim couples. They are ruled by the Sharia Islamic law that allows divorce if initiated by both the husband and the wife. The reasons are classified as repudiation or rejection (talaq), mutual (khul), and total dissolution (faskh). Muslims in the Philippines make for around 7 percent of the population and approximately 90 percent reside in Mindanao.
Sharia divorce is recognized and they can remarry. Even their Quran allows the practice of polygamy. A Muslim man can have up to four wives on the premise that all would be treated equally. At times, the man is "forced" to marry a brother's widow or an orphaned girl.
Still, Filipino Catholics, or 78.8 percent of the populace, make the attempt to legalize divorce an uphill battle for legislators.
Collateral Damage
A disheartening rationale for not being supportive to divorce is the effect on children and immediate community.
Stigma exists. The cruel term "coming from a broken family" hits hard on the children and its effects, lasting.
Father Bacatan mentioned hatred lives in the hearts of kids, especially among the girls. As for the boys, violence becomes a coping mechanism to thwart the thought of separated parents.
All this may not manifest while young. They may carry it all through their life and affect their adulthood. It depends how they were reared post-separation.
The unkind would easily pass judgment that children of separated or divorced parents are "broken."
On the contrary, most of them manifest positive effect and keep lessons learned from their parents' divorce. All they would want is a "perfect family" filled with love and reassurance. Girls become choosy in picking the right guy to marry while boys struggle to be a perfect husband and loving father.
My Take?
I am a Catholic and I favor the passing of Absolute Divorce.
Having gone through the whole scale of the annulment process with the father of my four children, it was tough, emotionally and financially.
Annulment is costly, seriously. It is no joke. The impoverished or low-incomed — perhaps even the middle-incomed — will not afford to go through annulment. Today, the whole gamut could reach from P400K to half a million pesos, even more.
My case took around two years through finality. After all, I just turned 15 years old when we got married. It was way below the legitimate marrying age of 18.
The only reason I tendered was "psychological incapacity" on the part of the husband. The package included not only the lawyer but also an accredited psychologist and their appearances in court, aside from other expenses and incidentals.
The most harrowing part was when I went through the narrative at the witness stand. I was not ready for it. This part took me on a time-back travel. Emotions went haywire trying to revisit the past just when I though I have recovered.
Stress-Free Home
But then, in the final analysis, going through Absolute Divorce, when legalized, will definitely cost much less, with lesser hassle.
While valid reasons for filing also stipulate psychological incapacity, mentioned in the upcoming law are irreconcilable differences, domestic abuse, gender preference, and separation for at least five years. Easy peasy.
If approved, this will put an end to many abusive and failed unions and set them free to wisely lead a happier and more contented life ... not necessarily getting hitched anymore.
The man maintains authority over self, woman remains dignified while the kids are contented not living in a stressful home.
(email opinyon.luchie@gmail.com, luchiearguelles@yahoo.com)
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