Growing up in a political family and with my grandmother dubbed the best political strategist in our province was not something that I appreciated then but I am very proud of now. My maternal grandparents were the best at what they did evident in the anecdotes of people about their kindness, altruism, unconditional love, and incomparable service to mankind.
As their grandchildren, we were spared from everything else that came with politics even the tip of the iceberg. Truth be told, even their political adversaries had high respect for them which they too returned, and the media only spoke of verity with conviction and not cruelty. Their vital role in politics did not give us entitlement or immunity. It created restrictions. But they made sure we were protected from all the issues they faced nonetheless.
It is different this time because I am the politician’s wife.
My involvement in politics now had my full consent despite my prior, stern disapproval. My husband decided to run for government office in 2018 which I did not agree to in a heartbeat, least to say. I was worried about how we would manage a campaign and survive an election. My hesitancy seemed to translate into negativity, and that appeared to take away his dream from him. It dawned on me that more than anyone, I am the one who believes in him the most not because I am his wife but because I am convinced of the innate goodness in him and the service that he could deliver. I see and trust his potential as a public servant and his genuine intention to serve the people of the town dear to him. So, I promised him that with my approval, we were in it together.
When he lost as Kagawad in the Barangay and Sangguniang Kabataan Elections (BSKE) 2018, I thought it would ultimately stop there. That the short-lived political attempt was just to tick off something from his bucket list of things in the future that he might regret not pursuing. I was even resolute in applying for work abroad and finding greener pastures for our growing family. However, despite losing at the barangay level, he tried his luck running for Sangguniang Bayan Member and alas, he won.
It felt as though the loss in the BSKE 2018 was a leap of faith, and a mere setback to guide him for a greater calling. It was still God’s favor to make him learn about campaigning on his own as an independent candidate and to test whether he was ready for a much bigger challenge.
Being labeled a politician or a public servant makes one “owned” by the public because such a win is mandated by the vote of the majority. One is open to public scrutiny regardless of the good and the bad publicity, the bias sometimes released by the press, and the ability or inability to defend one’s self. Ironically, so is his or her family.
I knew that I was not going to be spared but I promised myself that I would not deprive our children of enjoying their childhood and that they would grow the same way that I did no matter how “political” everything seemed about our family since my husband became an elected official. I thrived in that somehow but we really cannot please everyone. There will always be people who choose to misunderstand because they cannot admit to their wrongs. And some even viciously find satisfaction in the suffering of others.
In 2020, while the pandemic continued to consume us with qualms and uncertainties, and a few days after giving birth to our third child via Caesarean section, I was personally attacked on the radio by a particular media personality. I do not know his intention why he created an issue about me that he was unable to prove, but given his questionable credibility, I believe he was just being pathetic. When I reminisce about that moment, I feel contempt for that person because I can still vividly hear my then eight-year-old son worriedly asking, “Why are there bad people who always do bad things to you and Taytay?”
He asked why someone made up a bunch of lies about me and why we had to refrain from defending ourselves. My only response was that it is futile to contest a fib and that there are people who are unhappy in life and they take it out on others by being unkind and dragging others into their misery. I was a lactating mother at that time and I wanted to do away with the stress and drama however, I felt my son’s innocence was violated, and the more that I abhorred that media man.
Albeit I told my husband to neglect the issue and that I was simply being used to putting him on the edge, he could not bear two straight days of me being falsely accused of things I never did hence, we took initial steps to sue them. I was recuperating from my operation and the worst part was that the media man and his co-anchor even made rude remarks about our baby. I could not even fathom how they could call themselves part of the media when they dared to poke fun at a newborn and a lactating mother. They eventually stopped and although we began with the procedure to sue them for libel, we decided that they were not worth battling with. Besides, what does not kill you only makes you stronger and more ready to retaliate the next time around.
I do not want my children to hear fabricated stories about me or their father. I had my fair share of stubbornness and impulsiveness when I was younger but I strived to be a better individual and succeeded. The only way to get through painful pasts is to confront it and not regress it. To likewise forgive yourself and make peace with it through time. We are not perfect parents and not perfect individuals but one thing that I am proud of is that we always choose to speak the truth and act and decide in good faith no matter the circumstances.
While titles and positions are only temporary, so is being a politician’s wife, and it takes courage and grit to always keep myself composed. Situations sometimes get the best of me especially those that test my patience and understanding. My husband and I are unable to evade the challenges that come with being public servants—exposure to prejudiced people or people with bad intentions and unfair situations—but enduring all of it is the only way to live up to our purpose.
There was this instance when my husband was massively lambasted because of an ordinance of which he is the main proponent. Transportation being the committee in the Sanggunian every legislator felt threatened to accept and he was voted as Chairperson on his first term. Youngest as he was amongst them, he wanted to deliver and prove himself an efficient public servant but everything he said and did was taken in the wrong context at that time.
I remember that day when our social media was full of negativity and then we decided to go to the beach and watch the waves. We let our kids play—bathe even—and while looking at them we thought about life outside politics and all the chaos that was happening during that phase. I even cried because I felt our peace being disturbed but he said that we can endure everything as long we are together.
He would always reason that it was never about the money but about the change that he wanted to create by serving with his heart. By being a public official, he yearned to build a better community where the next generations would grow up safe, secure, and happy. His sacrifices including less time with our kids and missing out on some of their milestones were because he was doing his best to be a public servant, we would be proud of. And needless to say, we are already so proud of him.
He is now on his second term as a legislator and I am also working in the municipal government. I am glad that we both get to be of service to the people of our town. The social media bashing still happens to us no matter how inconsequential. But unlike the first time, it is bearable now and occasionally makes us laugh. We have mastered ignoring anything other than being constructive because when you have chosen to dedicate your life to public service, you go all the way, regardless.
Politics is not made for the faint-hearted simply because as a politician, you cannot please everyone. You will be criticized when you do nothing; you will be questioned when you do something. Nothing will ever seem enough even if you have given it your all, and your best. But when you are sincere, every backlash is but a stepping stone for you to be better, braver, kinder, and stronger.
When his title and position become embedded in historical accounts, he will remain a husband, a father, and a man who steadfastly served his people. So what about being a politician’s wife? It does not have any perks to it actually but if I may confess—just being his wife is good enough for me (plus the mother of his four children).
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